Keys to peak parental performance

As an Academy, we are always seeking ways to rein in parental enthusiasm without dampening it. The following letter printed in Soccer America from The Stone Mountain (GA) Youth Soccer Association details a clear and concise set of standards addressing delicate balance.
Let the coaches coach. This includes goal-setting and psyching up your child for practice and post game critiques. Having more than one "coach" confuses children.

Do not bribe or offer incentives. Leave motivation to the coach. Offering money for scoring goals, for example, distracts your child from concentrating properly in practices and games.
Support your child unconditionally. Do not withdraw love when your child performs poorly.
Support all players on the team. Your child's teammates are not the enemy. When they are playing better than your child, he/she has a wonderful opportunity to learn.
Support the program. Get involved by volunteering, helping with fund raisers, car pooling, or however else you can.

Encourage your child to talk with the coaches. "Talking responsibility"--whether about playing difficulties or missing an upcoming match--is a big part of soccer.
Understand and display appropriate game behavior. When you cheer appropriately, you help your child focus on the part of the game he can control (positioning, decision-making, skills, etc.) and are a good role model. If your child begins focusing on elements he/she can't control (field conditions, the referee, the weather, etc.), your child will not play up to his/her ability.

Monitor your child at home. Be sure your child is eating and sleeping properly.
Help your child keep priorities straight. A youngster needs help balancing schoolwork, friendships, and other commitments besides soccer. But having made a commitment to soccer, your child also needs help fulfilling their obligation to their team.
Pass the reality test. If your child's team loses but plays their best, help him/her see this as a "win." Remind them to focus on the process, not the end result. Fun and satisfaction should come from "striving to win." Conversely, do not let your child be satisfied with "winning" if it comes from inadequate preparation and performance.

Keep soccer in its proper perspective. The game should not be larger than your life. If your child's performance produces strong emotions in you, suppress them. Keep your goals and needs separate from your child's. Remember that your relationship with your child will continue long after his/her competitive soccer days end.